The Dream

I had my first real dream about Kirsten on May 8^th, the night before Mother’s Day, a Mother’s Day gift. I say “real dream” because it was the first one in which she spoke to me and wasn’t just seen from a distance.  From ancient times, people have believed that dreams are meaningful. In the Bible, messages from God were often revealed in dreams, and well-known psychologists, Freud and Jung, among others, believed that dreams are a hidden window into the subconscious. I'm not sure which I believe, but I do find them interesting.

Kirsten, Kenny and I were at a public pool, in the evening, for some kind of social gathering. I was sitting on a pool chair near the pool eating something when Kirsten called out to me from my right, further down the poolside. She said, “Mom, come over here when you get done with that.” I didn’t finish what I was eating, but got up immediately and went to her. We both had white towels wrapped around us from our armpits to our knees. I fell into step a couple of steps behind her, following her towards a six foot wide part of the pool which jutted out from the main pool, on our left, across the pool deck in front of us at a right angle to the rest of the pool. She walked down the sloped entrance into the water and I followed, the water gradually becoming deeper, deeper than I had anticipated. The water came up to my armpits and I was a bit concerned when the towel I was wearing rose up around me.  I was vaguely aware of another presence, a male figure of some authority such as a guard or police officer, watching us from about 50 feet to our right whom I couldn’t quite see because it was dark. As soon as we got to the deepest part, we started up the other side, coming out together, walking side-by-side, Kirsten on my left. Kirsten asked for help with a dilemma saying,  “Dad wants me to take off the ring Jessica gave me and he wants me to start wearing the ring that he/you guys gave me. He says I’ve got a really pretty ring there and I should be wearing it.” Just as I started to tell Kirsten to follow her heart and do whatever she wanted about the ring, I woke up.

The first thing that struck me about this dream was that I was behind her until we got to the other side of the water and then I was next to her. It felt like some sort of metamorphosis and it felt sort of religious. We were walking through water, wading through it with some difficulty, and came out on the other side together. When I awoke it seemed as if there was some kind of meaning to this, as if it were a message. So I did what I usually do, I looked it up.

I found that wading through water is sometimes thought to represent hardship. Water is also a symbol for life itself and the word of God. Water is used symbolically in baptism, a purification rite, as spiritual cleansing and entry into Christianity. In ancient times, there were walk-in pools of holy water outside the temples that priests were required to immerse in before entering. And what about this authoritarian male presence watching us from afar? Is my subconscious actually bringing God into my dreams? I’m not even very religious.

Next, I thought about the ring. I remembered that rings are used in marriage ceremonies for a reason, that a ring symbolizes eternity because it is a never-ending circle and it also symbolizes unity. In the dream, Kirsten couldn’t decide which ring to wear. Was it symbolic of her breaking the bond with family, moving on, and asking my blessing?

And finally, I thought about how in the dream, as in life, Kirsten came to me with a dilemma to ask for my advice. In the dream I was just about to tell her it was okay to follow her own heart, but didn't get a chance to. 
Are dreams merely the subconscious at work while we sleep, or are they actually spiritual messages? What do you think? Whichever one it is, I hope to be reunited with Kirsten again soon in my dreams.

~A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read.  ~The Talmud

~That which the dream shows is the shadow of such wisdom as exists in man, even if during his waking state he may know nothing about it.... We do not know it because we are fooling away our time with outward and perishing things, and are asleep in regard to that which is real within ourself.  ~Paracelsus, quoted in The Dream Game