Lessons In Joy

Floating on the Seine

In July 2007, Kirsten and I were in Europe visiting relatives in Sweden and sightseeing in Copenhagen, Amsterdam and Paris. I have always been a planner. I filled our itinerary as full as  possible with historic sights and important landmarks. I had everything planned right down to the hour on a calendar that I printed and carried with me and we followed it to the tee. In our two days in Paris we saw the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre museum (which with careful research and planning I managed to get us in and out of in a half hour and at half price), the Arc de Triomphe and many other important sights.

On our first day in Paris, Kirsten noticed a tanning salon on the block where we stayed and asked if we could go tanning. Tanning was, of course, not on the itinerary. Why would we do something in Paris that we could do anytime in the U.S.? By the second day, she had bugged me so many times that I gave in and agreed to take the time out of our schedule to go tanning. We entered the tanning salon and I somehow arranged for us each to tan, in the appropriate bed and for the appropriate length of time, despite the fact that the nice young woman there spoke no English and my French was seriously lacking in tanning vocabulary. 

The tanning equipment was like none we had ever seen in the states. It was modern and colorful. There were futuristic conventional type beds and some that reclined. We marveled over the fact that the fans in the beds emitted a puff of fragrance every couple of minutes. We left feeling a sense of accomplishment at pulling this feat off on our own and a sense of connection with a local Parisian. It was an experience completely unlike the ones I had planned. It felt real. When I thought about it later, I realized it was one of the best memories of the trip. And it wouldn’t have happened if Kirsten hadn’t insisted on doing something she just felt like doing, enjoyed, instead of something that was on the list of “must sees.”

Maybe this is the secret to the elusive thing called joy. Enjoy…enjoy…live in joy. Since Kirsten’s passing, these types of memories have made me wonder if I have been missing out on some of the joy in my life while I was busy getting everything done and I resolve to enjoy more. To be in the moment more. To be present. Planning is important, but so is living.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

                                                      ~Robert Brault

Kirsten at the wheel of a 747